Monday, January 24, 2011

seeking wisdom...

how will You ever give wisdom?
how will You, Lord, hear my prayer?
how will i know what's Your answer?
how will i know that You care?

Father, the way is so foggy!
Father, I don't understand!
Father, You've promised me wisdom!
yet confusion remains - sinking sand!

peace is my deepest desire
peace that abides in my heart
but there is no peace at this moment
i feel all alone - in the dark

tears fill my eyes and they flood down
who loves this one more than You?!
i desire only protection
You want to make something new

how do i know what You want, Lord?
how can i ever be sure?
if i'm headed the wrong direction
turn me or stop my path short!

for i want the best for my loved ones
and surely Your plans You'll reveal
i'm seeking, i'm waiting, i'm trusting
alone, Lord, quiet and still


I know my children still have character to be developed - I know they have lessons to be learned - I pray I will not so protect them that I delay the learning of lessons that will be their blessing to learn! I pray I will step out of the way at the right times and that I will step in when that is best. I pray I will not be afraid to require something hard of them when it's for their good and, I pray, for His glory!

Monday, January 3, 2011

truth & perception...

well, i guess the Lord is going to start His work on me right away!! yesterday, we were (sadly) taking down our Christmas decorations and tommy announced that we were changing storage containers. we've used the same red and green containers for FOREVER! ok - i know it's silly when extended to something like storage containers, but i am the QUEEN OF SENTIMENTALITY AND TRADITION! (are you picturing images of Tevia in Fiddler on the Roof? ~ yep, that's me :)) anyway, i am married to Mr. Organization/ Always-Looking-to-get-Rid-of-Something-and-Improve-Efficiency :) ~ as you can imagine, this occasionally leads to conflict ~ and i had just asked the Lord to show me my sinful ways and make clear where i needed change!

just a day later, i have much more clarity about this whole incident! tommy really wasn't trying to hurt my feelings! the old containers truly were wilting in the heat of a desert storage unit and the fact that the new containers were clear and black was not meant as a personal affront to me. so, this morning the Lord laid on my heart that there is a difference between perception and truth and that i, as His child, am to look for TRUTH and begin more and more to assume the best before opening my mouth...

perception ~how i see it~
often leads astray
for i know not the thoughts of others
You've placed in my way

truth ~the way it really is~
what i must seek to know
assuming best, extending grace
and hoping this will show

that i am but a sinner
needing grace that so abounds
that when my words and actions
tempt others to resound

"she is so impatient!"
"she's so set in her ways!"
"she has such an opinion!"
"she makes lists everyday!"

that in that grace they'd see me
step back and love me still
and say with all that's in them
"i know that she means well!"

then may i do the same, Lord
i hope others do for me!
assume the best of another
have eyes that clearly see

the difference 'tween truth and perception
that most hearts seek what's good
for others You've placed in our lives, Lord
choosing Your way as we should!


a new year...

i sat jan 1, having just returned from tennessee/mississippi with loved ones, thinking about this new year. i love jan 1 ~ it's the day i choose what devotional book(s) i'll use through the year. i love to sit and think about how the Lord has been working in my life and may work in my life in the year to come. i just finished My Utmost for His Highest (wonderful!) and the year before Streams in the Desert (amazing!). this year, i think 2 books ~ Devotions on Prayer from andrew murray's wrtings and nancy guthrie's Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament. (as a side note, i also started Walking on Water~Reflections on Faith and Art by madeleine l'engle ~ one of my favorite writers!). so, we will see where the new year leads ~ kids growing up so fast, a new camera for Christmas :) big decisions to be made, and much hope and anticipation for what the Lord has for me and those i love in 2011. Happy New Year blessings!!!

a new year, Father, we begin
our hopes all set in You
many changes we will face
but You will see us through

world not for a moment still
and neither, Lord, are we
yet help us seek Your way of peace
that Your plans we may see

help us slow our pace, oh God,
and daily seek to know
not just what Your plans may be
or which way we should go

but oh much deeper, Father God,
may we seek more of You
to say at year's end from this day
"i know You more than i knew!"

that we would grow in ways that now
we cannot comprehend
that as we walk, Lord, this year through
our lives You'd shape and bend

and as we sit a year from now
reflecting on this time
that we would say with most glad hearts
"He's evermore ~ more mine!"